FaiTH HoPe LoVe

Life isn't pretty sometimes. It has its ups and it's downs, so let's face it, life is basically an emotional roller coaster. Trust me! I know it and I'm living it. My problems aren't as bad as some people. Just know if something is hurting you, you have the right to feel that pain. I am here to tell you to have faith, you can do this. Here is my story about Faith, Hope, and Love:

I love with all my heart because love is something that means the world to me.  I always felt like love was the answer to any problem. I've learn that some people don't see it that way. Love doesn't mean a whole lot to them like it does to me. I hurt because I feel like I'm losing that sense of the word. People are just so mean that they take love and turn it into something
that is meaningless. I say that, "these people are my close friends" but are they really? I have one that's taking my name and slanders it 85% of the time. I have so many other "friends" who sit there and believe it. You don't know me. You don't know my story. You don't know what I've been through. You have heard what I have done but can't even take the time to get to know me to see if it's true. That is why I am losing hope on love because Love is like glass. Love can be so beautiful but can shatter so easy. That is what is happening to me every night. My life feels like it is just shattering. I can't pick up the glass because I keep stepping on pieces. Love is just so easily broken and hard to pick up. I watch a show called Pretty Little Liars and one of the main character talked about hope and fighting the good fight. What stuck with me was this quote, "If you're hurt than it's not okay to give up but if you're injured than it's okay to to give up." I finally realized I may be scared and I may be hurt but I'm not injured. I can't just sit here and let these people do this to me.  It's time to get up and take back what is mine. Love. I have hope that this will get better. I have hope that I'm not alone and I have hope for the future. So yes I'm losing the meaning to love but gaining the meaning of hope. Gods got bigger plans for me I can feel it. He sees that I am hurting and I know it. He is walking with me day by day because he is king. Never give up, never give in. You are worth it. You are special. Have Hope!

Bri

Overcoming Outgoing??

When I came to college I had a lot of goals. One of them was to acquire unbreakable friendships. That goal was very much still a work in progress. My other goal, that kind of coexist, was acquiring unbreakble friendship. How do I Overcome the outgoing? Since I've gotten sick none of that matters to me anymore, being someone I am not. before it was so important to me to be just like the rest but that's the problem I am not like the rest. Why do I have to be the most popular? Why do I have to be the center of attention? Why do I have to have a boyfriend or that "unbreakable" friendship for that matter? After being in the hospital I learned who my real friends are and for some reason only one name can come to mind. All those things have no value to me anymore. What is important to me now  is to concentrate on me and my health. For solong I cared about other people.  I would even tell myself not to but I always did for some reason. For me, not anymore, that life is so over.  I hope that people learn from my experience. Please! Do not change yourself for anyone. Be you, stay true. Don't change yourself for anyone other than yourself. Do not try to reach their expectations but reach your own.

MY LIFE  UPDATE:

I start school on Tuesday and I'm a little nervous about that. I'm still in pain and get tired very easily so I have to take breaks during the day. Sleeping is hard but getting better and the swelling from the cellulitis is going down everyday. Being in the hospital with my blood clot was very difficult and without my family I don't know how I could have done it. Now I'm learning how to be that supportive to myself. I pray everyday for healing and the confidence to forgive myself for what happen to me. Also I want to be able to forgive those who didn't give a damn about me when I was in the hospital. Those people who called themselves my friends. Everyday has its challenges and difficulties. I am so blessed to be alive and to continue. So, never give up and love yourself through it all. Whatever you are going through you will get through it. Hey, maybe we can even do it together!

Xoxo 💋
Bri